Friday, January 11, 2008


I was leaving Safeway a few days ago, pocketing the Safeway Club Card that I've been using for years. I picked it up off the ground in a parking lot once, as part of a plot to help a friend secure a large amount of a particular soup he enjoyed that was on sale. I've used it ever since, you know, to confuse "the man," and keep my shopping habits to myself, thank you very much. As a side note, there's a YA book out there, don't ask me which one now, where the trading of supermarket cards is the secret handshake of the inhabitants of the town wherein the book is set. When you meet someone on the street, they hold out their card, and you exchange, even if you don't even say hello. Anyway, I digress.

What I love about my Safeway card is that it's original owner was named (probably still IS named, truth be told) Suzanne Mailloux. And almost invariably, with only one memorable exception, when they Safeway clerks hand me a receipt and go to wish me a personalized farewell, it comes out "Have a great day, Mrs. um... Malox?" And I happily nod, and say, "Yes, that's right. Malox. You have a nice day too."

So I was leaving Safeway, enjoying my secret laxative identity, when it hit me:

All my aliases start with the letter M.

Think about it. Meg. Meteowrite. Mrs. Malox. Marigold. Heck, even my middle name starts with M.

I stopped in the middle of the parking lot and scratched my head.

I still don't know what it means, but I haven't given up the idea that it's hugely significant.

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