Lack of Confidence

I just received the following email from the folks at the Career Center of my Current University:

Congratulations from the Career Center on your graduation! (Jenn : you know, I just got my grades back, and I did well, but not "Two Classes and You're Out Of Here" well.)

If you are graduating and have accepted a career position - - let us know and claim your Grad Duck! (Jenn: Hm. Sooooooooooooooooo many things to say about that one. The "if" makes it seem as though they are aware I'm not graduating, which makes me wonder why I'm getting this email at all.....is the mere mention of a Grad Duck supposed to encourage me to persevere? Is a "duck" some sort of graduation paraphernalia of which I've heretofore been ignorant? I've graduated multiple times, and not even at my preschool graduation do I remember anything about a duck. And really? A Duck? Does this remind anyone else of a certain Conflict Management Workshop that ended with the distribution of teddy bears? I mean, seriously, if ANYONE were to get excited about the prospect of a Grad Duck, it would be me. I have a duck at home amongst the rabbits, a duck who thinks he's a rabbit, and still....the idea of my institution of higher learning distributing ducks (and it's worth noting that I'm assuming this is some sort of stuffed, plush toy duck, not a REAL LIVE duck. If it's a REAL LIVE duck, we've got a whole 'nother kettle of wax going on here....I mean, that's a nearly medieval system "Congratulations on finishing school, here's some livestock to commemorate your achievement...") still leaves me a little oogie.)

I've got three more messages from my esteemed university in my box. I may have a whole farm by the time this morning ends.