Sunday, January 8, 2012

Three moments...

I'm thinking about you, H!  I'm thinking about your five days of silence, I think you are on day three as I write this.  I spent a few minutes contemplating how little stillness there is in our house, and how moments of quiet usually put me to sleep very quickly.  I was thinking about this on Friday morning, right as I got in the car after I dropped the boys off at school.  Which led me to think about how, on any given day, there are as many as three moments that I can reliably count on for a brief pause.  A space of quiet and solitude.  (Others might appear randomly on any given day, but these three are part of a routine in our house, and so, I am able to blog about them.)

Predictable Peaceful Moment One:

Happens right after daycare drop off.  Mornings are a blur of activity from the moment I get up until I walk out of the gate at school.  This is my main "alone" time with both boys, and some of my favorite times, despite the craziness.  Both boys are well rested and happy to see Mama.  But it's very, very quick and busy.  So by the time I get them to school, I am buzzing. 

When I walk out of the gate and get into my car, I'm thinking about how much I love my guys, and how GOOD they are (or how clever, or how sweet, or how funny--this varies from day to day.)  I'm also thinking about how grateful I am for their teachers and their wonderful school, the place that will keep them safe all day, the place and the people that help them become more clever, sweet, funny, and GOOD.

Then, before I start the car, there is one moment (usually accompanied by a sip of coffee from my travel mug) of peace.  My brain is switching from mom-mode to librarian-mode, but there is a moment of quiet. 

Predictable Peaceful Moment Two:

This is the flip side of moment one.  At the end of the word day, I have a short hike back to my car.  I pass by the new library building and walk up a quiet street to the parking lot.  Along the way, I finish thinking about whatever work things I was thinking about in the last hour.  I start to anticipate how much fun it will be to go home to all the guys, and hear about their days.  Usually, it's dark, so I can visit with the moon and a star or too.  Lately, it's been very cold, which is nice, because otherwise I might forget it's winter.  And between when Librarian Brain switches off and Mom Brain switches on, there is another moment of stillness.

Predictable Peaceful Moment Three:

Most days we take our family walk after dark.  We head out between seven and eight, so by the time we get home, the boys are sound asleep.  Nathan gets Miles, and I get Noah.  We put the amazingly awesome double stroller in it's place in the garage and then we take the boys to their beds.  Each night as I follow Nathan up the stairs, I think about how much I enjoy our family walks (even if I wasn't excited about it when we started) and how soon it will be before the little guys will be too big to carry, even if they do fall asleep on the walks.  By necessity, it's a quiet moment, creeping up the stairs as best one can while carrying a 25 pound warm, snuzzly blob.  It's one of the family-est moments of the day, and because it's the moment before I get to start my own winding down for the day, it's delightfully calm. 




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